I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
