i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
