So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize