I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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