i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
