in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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