What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
