HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
