While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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