sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
