You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
