Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
