HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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