He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
