U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
