im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
