from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
4 words: hood of his car
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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