this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
