20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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