I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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