Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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