and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
