david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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