he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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