I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
