College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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