I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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