I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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