i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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