we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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