it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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