You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
