Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
