idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
