Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
