Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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