I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
