can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
