Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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