You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
