he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
