dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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