i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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