Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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