you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
