planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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