Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
