unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
