Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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