...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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